A Sorrowful Joy

A Sorrowful Joy

(Translated from the Arabic short story by: Abdul malik al-Qasim)

The room was filled with the well-wishers & congratulators… I looked at my friends & fellows… all are greeting me & congratulating me… wishing me a good & happy life… After a few minutes… I was left alone… waiting for the one who was to come… tears gushed out of my eyes… I remembered my mother praying that I might be blessed with a good husband…

As if it was a dream… I went twenty years back… … On the early morning of that day…

“Where is my mother?”… “Where has she gone?”… My voice was louder than ever
… I was only five at that time… I shouted again… “Where is Mama?”… Tears were the answer to my question… There was one who told me... in a sad tune… & with tears… “She went to Paradise…” I don’t know that day…who made the other cry: was it me or was it my brother or those who were crying around us.

I held my brother’s hand & set off to look for my mother. We got exhausted…running hither & thither… going upstairs… searching in every room, in the kitchen… crying “Mama…Mama” but all in vain… I became sure that she wasn’t at home… we hugged each other & started crying & weeping… With exhaustion & tiredness, we slept together on the sofa… After one hour or two, I held my brother’s hand & began searching again. We could not find her in the house… she was always there whenever we needed her… but today… she was nowhere… “Where would she be?

After a lengthy pause… I remembered… with great joy… she is there… under the tree… in the garden… she loved that place… I knew it… Running swiftly… we came downstairs… my brother was about to fall as I was pulling him down… but in the end, we found the tree with nobody nearby… I glanced at the top of the tree… beneath it… everywhere around it… there was nothing but the tree & a few plants that she loved… but where is SHE?

Suddenly I heard voices, I looked at the place from where the voices came. Several men passed by holding something upon their backs… my brother asked me, “What’s that?”… I told him,” that must be something heavy… look, they are holding it together”

I didn’t know that they were holding my mother. But if I did know that at that time, I would not have let them take her… I would have pulled her back. The men went away & voices began to vanish… silence overwhelmed the house… we began playing with the sand & mud in the garden… under the tree… as we used to, when she was with us…

This was the first time that we go into the garden… without a shoe… the first time we get thirsty but we find no water… one of the relatives came & took us inside…

On the next morning, we set to search her again… I mustered up & told my brother, who was crying,

“Our Mama is gonna come…she will”

… But then… I burst into tears.

My grandma came to us… & hugged us… till now I can feel her tears that fell on my head & my hands.

I still can remember my mother when annoyed used to say… “I shall leave you & go away”. Still I can remember that day, when we went to the hospital… & to her bed. My father held me up to her & said,” this is Arwa…”

She hugged me & kissed me… then kissed my brother… her tears fell on her cheeks, when she pressed my hands & kissed me forcibly & with great passion. I still can remember her saying, “I shall leave you in God’s custody…” then she burst into tears… & covered her face… they took us out of the room… weeping & crying loud.

We moved to my grandpa’s house… leaving behind a house that contained: my mother, father & brother…

After five years, we returned to my father’s house……… A women was there in my father’s house…

“This is Mama Asma… Say Salaam to her” …She was not my mother… I knew it, but she was an excellent stepmother…

She took great care of us, motivated us to study our school work & learn Qur’an… helped me choose good friends… prepared for me & my brother all that we needed… & even more than that…

Many times we made her angry… but she was always patient… she was wise & wit full… never wasted a single minute of her life… Always praying to Allah & praising Him. She was of great manners & was perfectly religious… she filled up the great vacancy that we felt after my mother’s death… she was loving & compassionate…

When I asked her one day, “You are different from all the rest of the step mothers…where is cruelty & harshness… where is the oppression & tyranny…”

She said,” I fear God, my dear girl… & I hope for the repayment in every deed & in every act… you, my dear, & your brother are my responsibility… Don’t be amazed… even when I comb your hair, I seek God’s pleasure & mercy… then Arwa! How much of the Qura’n have you learnt… won’t I get a share of the reward from Allah for that? Won’t God reward me for my good behavior with you & your brother? All what I have done… is for God’s sake.” And she added “A person is asked about how he treated others as well as he is asked about his prayers & worships… a Muslim, my dear daughter, is asked to treat other Muslims kindly & with patience”

I broke in, “but sometimes we make you tired… or even annoy you?!”

“Arwa! Dear, every thing in this world is bound to tire you…PARADISE COSTS…you know that fasting is tiresome… hajj is exhausting… & God says,

“So whoever does good equal to an atom (or a small ant) shall see it (i.e. shall take the reward). And whosoever does evil equal to the weight of an atom (or a small ant) shall see it ”

All what you hear about stepmothers wont be left without any settlement… God will punish those women very severely… … what’s the point in torturing little orphans… what’s the need of tormenting those innocent children…cruelty, my dear kid, is dark & dusky on the day of judgment“.

I said to her with tears in my eyes:” my mother prayed that God might be our protector & guardian. & God proved to be really a perfect custodian”.

* * *

Suddenly… the door of the room was knocked at… my stepmother entered… smiling & trying to control her tears… greeted me & praying for me, she kissed me… I kissed her hand & head… I knew I owed her more than that… she said with her tears flowing down her cheeks,

“Sacrifice in anticipation of God’s reward” & said with a smile, “you have surely learnt the Holy Prophet’s saying:

(If a woman prayed her five -prayers- & fasted her month -of Ramadan- & safe guarded herself & obeyed her husband… she would be told “Enter one of the doors of Paradise that you like”)…& now” she said,” it’s time for you to practice what you have learnt & implement what you have been told”

I said to myself with a sigh…

“It was very wise of my father to have married a women that feared her Creator”.